Motivation

I just read Mocha Momma's post about what inspired her to go into the teaching profession, and decided to comment. I realized that my comment was not only fodder for my own post, but was getting lengthy and turning into one as it was.
Who Inspired Me? (my comment)
"In college I somehow ended up involved with volunteerism and stumbled into a few perfectly-timed opportunities to make stuff happen. I was passionate about it, I could do it, what questions were left? The Director of Student Activities and I crossed paths, and she always listened to my ideas, encouraged, and when possible, offered support. There is no way I could have accomplished it without her, but she was so stealthy in her support I didn't realize how lucky I was at the time. I suspect she facilitated a lot of miracles in a system full of barriers."
And, as a kid without much self-confidence, I didn't realize how much I needed that encouragement. I also had a real-life example of who I wanted to be.

It's true, I can get passionate about a lot of things, and I often get vocal. I don't like to support things I don't agree with, and sometimes I don't support things LOUDLY. So when you combine college students with passion about their belief/cause, and the so many awesomely good ideas they have, I get excited! On the surface it's all about passion and dedication and excitement, and helping foster someone's deepest loves that they'll carry out into the world and possibly make career and life choices affected by that passion and energy and support. Underneath it all, it's just about witnessing the incredible things students can do.
Seriously, if you could hear me here, instead of just reading my words, you'd realize I'm talking faster, and louder, and higher, and I'm all kinds of excited just thinking about it.
When I was in college, I was so very fortunate to cross paths with Elisa Dunman (pictured above), and, true story, my secret life goal from then on was to become her. I love, love, LOVE supporting college student volunteers as they figure out what they believe and how to support that. I love that volunteers are connected to the things they believe in the most - that they would spend their own time and resources to get no paycheck, no "tangible" benefits. When people volunteer for something (with those rare exceptions where they're truly forced and loathe what they're involved with), they really care about it. I love watching that happen. I love helping that happen. It affects me deeply.

So. I ended up not in college student development yet. There weren't any ready opportunities, and I instead got involved in some of the other stuff I am passionate about. Helping provide a safe place after school, finding creative ways to meet the needs of those kids... working with kids who need adopted and families who want to adopt, helping find families willing to be the awesomest kind of family...helping develop grant-funded projects that meet unmet needs of students and provide healthcare access for people who have nowhere to go... Mentoring teenage girls to know that they matter, that they have power... When I put it all that way, I am reminded that while I'm not currently in student development, I still have the same passion, and I still apply it to wherever I am.
I get so excited about meeting unmet needs, loving people who have been neglected and forgotten (whether for life or just in a crunch of bureaucracy). I carry Elisa's love for encouraging people to be passionate. I carry the skills I've been building. And I really, really want to get back into students and volunteering. But if I don't... I'll be okay. I'll still be doing the same things, but in a different ball game.

p.s. In searching for a picture of Elisa, who is now far removed from where I am, physically, I came across this brief interview with her. It shows you a glimpse of her awesome.

365 Days

A lot can happen in a year. A year ago, I met this guy for coffee, and said goodnight 9 1/2 hours later. Tonight... He's my husband.
Raise your glass to an incredible year.

"Can I offer you something to drink?"

I married a wonderful man. He's thoughtful, careful, logical, and kind. Most of the time.
He remains kind. When we need to call in a takeout order, he's kind enough to do the calling. But his thoughtful, careful, logical side takes a break while he does the calling.
When I call the order in, we invariably end up in a challenging, 10-minute conversation clarifying what I'm ordering and where I live. So he calls.
A few weeks ago I was driving home from work, and would be driving past our favorite pizza place. So after little deliberation he called in an order for me to pick up. When I arrived... our order was nowhere to be found. The picture of excellent customer service, the bartender and the manager frantically check the entire kitchen for a misplaced order, asking, " did you call it in here, or at our downtown location?"
"Oh, here!" I replied, full of confidence. You know how the story goes next, I think. I ended up promising to program the correct number into his phone, and they were super gracious, excellent in every way. They called the other store, confirmed-then-canceled my order, and made a fresh one double-time, offering me a free drink while I waited.
Tonight, it was Thai, and I offered to pick up the order after Windtalker called it in from our takeout menu (yes, we have a takeout menu stash). I was delayed getting out the door, yet when I arrived, there were no orders waiting to be picked up, or being cooked. You know what happened. So the nice dude called their other location (20 minutes away plus parking and walking). And I practiced my "I'm a super-awesome tipper" skills. And he offered me a drink while I waited.
Apparently the way you handle these situations is with a free drink that costs double the tip.
And Windtalker is banned from calling in orders that he doesn't pick up.

Right Place, Right Time

For as long as I can remember, I've had this working philosophy of the world.

I believe that if things seem to magically line up, if topics pop up across "borders", that you're exactly where you are supposed to be. Call it Divine intervention, call it Karma, call it whatever you like. I bet you call it something.

For example, if you've been recently interested in, say, elephants, and then a friend shares a curiosity about elephants, and then you open a magazine and find an article about elephants... That. Except, perhaps, without elephants.

In the blogging world there are definitely themes. We inspire, and are inspired by, each other. We pass them along. Certain things are trendy (think "owls" and no-knead bread). But sometimes there are "coincidences" that trigger themes. I'm no expert, and perhaps they're indicative of trends, but I just marked several recipes in my google reader that involve coconut. Including a coconut vodka sauce. Double-Coconut Muffins. And then a few recipes that might be gateway opportunities for me and "greens". We didn't really meet when I was growing, which makes me suspicious of them as an adult. Perhaps if they're hiding in stew and in fritattas we'll grow familiar.

And then we come back to the trends of life.

When I was in college I stumbled into several situations at once that gave me the opportunity to do some big things. I got to help lead weekend service trips to Harlan County, Kentucky. I was privileged to meet Colin Powell and get my college connected on the front of a movement to improve the world of young people. I ended up involved in a volunteer club as it's leader. And I recognized some needs on my college campus. And I learned to ask questions. To ask "why doesn't this exist?" and "why can't we do that?" and "how can I make this happen?" And while my questions were being answered, and my world was being shaped, I lucked into a world of awesomeness. It put me on a fast-track. It affected every step of my life. And perhaps, just perhaps, I'll get to embrace it again. But I could have ignored all of those opportunities, one at a time. I believe the world would be a worse place for it. We all affect each other. I get excited when I hear about another person who ended up doing big, awesome things that were sparked by some little thing I helped connect them to. (I also get excited about the "small things" we do.) I have friends who are teachers, who run non-profits, who live in an African desert or an Asian metropolis. They might have gotten there without me, but I like to think we're all connected. Namaste and such.

It can also be scary, this right place, right time phenomenon. A related belief I hold is that our current life is preparing us for what is to come. The universe is helping us get ready for what it knows is headed our way. So when I end up neck-deep in sad, scary, difficult things, I try not to worry. I try to remember that, yes, this could be awful if it comes to rest on my shoulders, but it will be better if I'm prepared. Running the other way doesn't seem to work for many people. If your whale is coming, you're going to end up underwater one way or another. Better to be down there with flippers and an oxygen tank.

And sometimes "chance" is preparing you for the good stuff, too.

What it Looks Like When You Truly Like Your Job but Kind of Need to Leave It Soon-Like

So... I've been in my current job for over 5 years, now (I can say "over" because MLK Day was last month, and I started the day after). Technically I'm doing something a bit different from when I started. Also technically (and truly) I've been doing this longer than I've "done" anything else as an adult. (does moving count as a something, because it might rival) I've been through a lot in the last five years, and the job has been a constant. I have very dear coworkers, and some less-dear not-so-close workers (you know what I mean - some people you don't really want to interact with unless you need to). It is the latter type that inspired this post.

So I recently graduated from graduate school. I "did" that longer than this job, technically (although there was that 18 month hiatus  in the middle of it, which makes it technically shorter). I also got married. I also moved. Over 70 miles away from where I work. Commuting is kind of rough, but because I have awesome coworkers and a flexible, interesting job, we make it work. But sometimes it feels like it isn't working so well.

Some days, like last night, I realize I spend more time with  my steering wheel than I do with my husband. I didn't get married to have a relationship with my steering wheel.

Sometimes I have a lot of trouble focusing on the work (list) at hand. Sometimes I wish I could use my time at work searching for a new place to work. And then I get to help make something magical happen and can't imagine why I'd leave my current work. But at the "end of the day" I love my coworkers and enjoy my job, but it's not what I want to "do" with my life, and we all know how short life can be and how you ought to be LIVING IT RIGHT NOW!  Clearly I can get passionate about some things.

Sometimes I discover that something I am passionate about has an opening, and I cross my fingers and hope for a chance to try and get in that door.

Sometimes I manage to make headway on my list of the work-day and end up getting bullied by one of those less-dear-not-so-close workers, and really want to use my work time to look for a door out of the place. Some times I lose my temper with truly dear coworkers and feel really badly that I didn't do what I think is my actual job - to empower and encourage  my coworkers to help other people. Some days they need to hear things bluntly, and some days they don't, and I may have been a bit too blunt with someone on Monday. But, that's why we apologize and try again.

And then we hang on to life and enjoy the computer-free hours in the evenings but perhaps ought to use them to look for opportunities to leave our jobs.

But then we get distracted by exercise and food and story slams and all kinds of important things, and we continue to walk that balance between fully just living and trying to transition. I should be used to this, right? Change? Being busy? Living in pieces?

What it's like to need to leave the job you enjoy is that you get kind of "secretive" about applying for amazing jobs because your dear coworker's last day is Wednesday and your Main Boss doesn't want to lose either of you, even though she knows it's coming. And then you tell Main Boss, "by the way, I applied for this job with this amazing place you know I love" and she *might* curse in response. Lovingly, of course. And thank goodness for being in a job with a boss where it's okay to curse if the situation really calls for it (remember the grant submission fiascoes last year? There might have been cursing then, too). And a boss that recognizes that a place would be an awesome fit for you and she has full confidence that if you apply of course they'll accept you because you're amazing. It's nice to have a supportive Main Boss. Which makes it a place you kind of don't want to leave. Except when it's 5:00 and you've been commuting all week and don't relish the drive home and really need some hard core exercise and stretching.

Life is pretty good. It's wearisome at times, but good.

Remind me of that when you hear me complaining about commuting or jumping through bureaucratic hoops or something.

p.s. This morning the Wii Fit told me that my Wii age is 53. Perhaps a  lot of stretching and exercise is in order.

If I Told You What Was Going On In This Photo, You'd Laugh

Some of you might even be moved to laugh yourself off your chair.

Ok. I'll tell you. That's a snapshot of what it looks like if you're squeezing in yoga between rushing out the door from work [that was really stressful and requires deep breathing and bending to recover], don't have time to change into-and-back-out-of appropriate clothes (& dressed like a hippie to begin with), and rushing off to a story slam with your husband to hear him tell a story of "Three Little Words: Declarations of Love." while he's in the room where you usually squeeze in yoga-with-a-dose-of-sitcom coaching his old roommate on binary vs. decimal, so you move yoga to your bedroom and the dog feels compelled to join you. Warrior, meet [really] down dog.

Greetings from the place where strange things beautifully intersect.

Just How Warm is is in January in the Mountains?

I took this. In my yard. This afternoon.